I love LOVE and for eight years now I have made it my mission to bring more love into this world.
A part of my story began back in 2012, at a weekend program for professional development. I wanted to ensure I had the best resources to manage my mental health. I wanted to be at my very best to avoid burn out and compassion fatigue so I could support and counsel the young mothers I was supporting. I loved my career, but I was struggling with managing ‘all the things’. Family drama, family trauma, feeling lonely and broken from my last relationship. Feeling like I had fallen behind my friends because they were in love and moving on in their life and on the path to happily ever after.
I was single, alone and working two jobs to pay ends meet.I felt incomplete. Something was missing.
All day long I was focused on serving everyone else. No, seriously I was serving clients as a counsellor. I would then go to the restaurant I served at, go home serve any family that needed support, sleep, wake up and do it all over again. I was serving people all day long focused on them.
I didn’t even know how to serve myself. It might have appeared that I did because I was ‘independent’ but truthfully, I was alone, scared and exhausted.
Why am I sharing this with you? Because it all started with a realization that there had to be more to life. I got to a point in my life mentally and emotionally where I could no longer manage ‘everyone else’s stuff’. At the same time I also didn’t know how to ‘not’ not manage it all. (P.S. I loved my work and it was my career that helped me realize it was time to focus on me).
About a year before this ‘realization’ I bought the book ‘You Can Heal Your Life’, by Louise Hay and I finished the book in one sitting. I was so angry with Louise and her connections of mind, body, soul because if this were the truth than what was my life all about?
I realized everything in my life was happening for me and before that moment I was a victim and found blame in all those around me. It was their fault I had no time for me. It sucked, it was a mind F#ck and it rocked me. Because, ultimately it meant that the only one responsible for my life was me and didn’t have a clue how to do it any differently.
It was time to stop blaming my life on everything else; my parents, the scary world, the low paying jobs, the car accident, the ex-boyfriend could no longer be the ‘excuses’ as to why I was feeling the way I did.
Afraid and like something was missing.
The only one responsible for my life was me and that was really hard to digest. Because it meant that I had to stop looking out there for someone to save me. It was time to dive into my pain and begin the journey of saving myself. At that weekend event I chose me. I jumped in not knowing where I would go but knew it would be better than where I was.
So, today I am choosing to share a piece of my journey with you. A piece that has taken me eight years of self-discovery, personal development, transformation and truly loving myself unconditionally. Today I share my journey with you in a space I have not yet explored.
I invite you to watch my story in the video below.
You are loved, you are worthy, you are enough, you got this.